Experiencing Culture: Buddhist Funeral

 Heyyooo family and friends!!!

This weekly is gonna go day by day cause so much happened!!! Also, it's gonna go into detail about a Buddhist funeral so just be warned. This might be a shock or a tear jerker. There are also some funnies and haha's as well so don't fret it's not all gloom.

MONDAY

I'll just go ahead and recap because I can't remember how much I said last week. So, in the morning I got a phone call informing me that pu somnang's son passed away, which was super sad news. We went over to their house right away after buying some flowers for the mom and dad and stuffed animals for the two daughters whose ages are 9 and 11. When we went over there they had their son "dop" (boy's name) laying on the bed with cotton balls blocking his air ways and his favorite Spiderman shirt on with a blanket covering the lower half of his body. We stayed there for an hour where Elder Little cried a ton and I was doing fine till the two little girls started bawling when Elder Little asked what they were going to name the stuffed animals and they pointed to their brother lying on the bed. After hugging and trying to comfort them, we said a prayer and then left to eat breakfast. Then rushed home and got ready to do our planned district P-day, which was super fun and got to get our minds off of the death that morning. We went to a Buddhist temple which was pretty big and pretty as well. We took some fun photos too. Then later that night, we went back to their house where the funeral was taking place. They usually go for 7 days but they only wanted it to go for 3, so Monday to Wednesday. Anyway, by that time they had already put dop into the casket and put ice on top and covered him up. They had a yummy dinner called bo-baw. It's rice porrage with different stuff inside. I love it, but a lot of people don't which is understandable from a western perspective. It has liver, shrimp(both big and small), chicken, sausage, sometimes pig intestine, mushrooms and some other stuff I'm probably forgetting. Anyway, this is also the night that the members of the ward came and did a little program with music and two talks. Before the program, I went off to the side and played some jumping games with the little girls and their friends so that was fun, you could say I crushed the competition😅 we then went home, rather late haha, cause we wanted to show our support to them.

TUESDAY

So, this day was also very packed. We had our District Council, which was lowkey super hype! We talked about being better missionaries and having the unfortunate events that are going on help us stay motivated so we have no regrets while on our mission. So, with that we decided to do a FaceTime every morning and work out with each other starting at 6:30. So, that's lowkey super fun and I love doing it! We also came up with 10 different ways to serve our companions, which was super hype but after having a full week of it, I don't think a lot of that happened, lol. Anyway, after that I bought some bi sike (rice and pork and egg and a little bone broth soup) for everyone for brunch. Then Elder Little and I went back over to PuCnang's house and flipped water bottles with the two little kids for like an hourrr which was so fun and I do think it was effective because those poor little girls have nothing to do all day except hang around their brother's coffin. After we were done playing we cleaned up the whole place as well because Cambodians just throw all their napkins and water bottles on the ground and littler all the time so it was a mess! After that we did weekly planning and then later went to this house with a mom, dad, and kid who spake like perfect English! He also, like most kids, just doesn't have a filter. He asked me if I had the chicken pox because I had acne on my face. I started dying laughing, hahaha. Usually, I would be offended a tad cause I don't like acne ofc but as a missionary and in a country where every white person is looked at like they're a celebrity, I couldn't care less about my appearance, lol. The parents felt so bad too, it was hilarious. Anyway that was a good lesson and the kid is actually pretty smart too, just super energetic which makes other people loose patience with him. He's like 6 or 7 and telling me about dinosaurs and how there's herbivores and carnivores and then telling me that we are omnivores. Anyways, we raced back to the funeral and ate more bo-baw afer the lesson and hugged and played with the kids for a little bit before we had to go back to our house since our curfew is 8:30. Some of these nights I also made more croissants!!!

WEDNESDAY

Okay today was the last day that they were doing the funeral so they brought the casket to the Wat, which is a Buddhist temple. We rode behind them on our bikes. Before that though they put the casket on a float you would see in a parade and then we rode behind them and did a little parade thingy as we went to the Wat. Once we were there they unloaded the casket and put it on a metal table that had wheels like a train and it was on a track like a train as well so it would be easier to wheel back and forth. So then, the monks do a chant and everything while people kinda praise them while us missionaries and members stand off to the side watching. After that we all waked around the casket a couple times as a group as the monks continued to pray and do their chant. After we did that they opened the casket and lifted the ice revealing the boy's body which was now disformed and his face was smushed from the weight of the ice. The parents then kinda tried to re-form his face a bit and comb his hair with their hands. After which they gave their son a kiss goodbye on the forehead while both daughters, and most everyone, were crying a lot. The Dad, with a hurt hip, then helped wheel his son to the incinerator that was located in the middle of a pond. Then put the casket in and that was it. The parents came back crying not wanting to leave. While waiting for the ashes, Bishop, the Elder's Quorum President, another member and I talked with Pu Cnang and his wife. The member asked where he was gonna put the ashes and Pu Cnang said his house, to the which the member asked "not at the Wat?" Pu Cnang replied with "what for? there's no benefit in that, I'd rather keep it at our church building if they'd let me. . .our church has air conditioning the Wat doesn't" It was good to see him making jokes and being himself a little bit. After the ashes came they washed it with water so they weren't hot anymore and then they sifted through the ashes and picked out his bones and put them in a basket where they washed it with clean water and then poured alcohol on it to clean them. This was done by the immediate family. After that things were pretty much done with the funeral part.

THURSDAY

Not much happened really just trying to recover from all the events that are happening, because also right now is when the Thai and Cambodian war is going on. It is still causing grief even after the cease fire. We just had some regular lessons. Also, we had interviews with President, which I'd say was much needed.

FRIDAY

We wake up and go straight away to Kombol which is about a thirty minute drive away. We do our work out there and then start our day as usual. Since I'm still District Leader, I do baptismal interviews and I did two that day that both people really like to talk and had big testimonies. . . so pretty long haha. Then actually earlier that morning I met with a family that actually goes to the church in Pochentong even though they live in Kombol, the wife is the Primary teacher. I love that family and also shout out to the Smart family in my home ward, one of the kids looks like a way chubbier version of Dalan when he was younger or Kai. I think it's the way Gim Sue smiles. They also have the nicest teeth I've seen in Cambodia that are real. It's crazy how many people remind me of family or friends back home and it's honestly little miracles cause it's like I got a little piece of home right here in Cambodia. Anyway, so friends and family know I think of you more than you think!

This day was also just packed full of riding bikes. We exchanged back and then me and Elder Hallam came here to Pochentong and then had a first lesson with a boxer.

SATURDAY

Okay, so we teach Pu Cnang's (real name is Somnang so if I switch a lot in this email just know they're the same person) family in which we put the bones of boy dop into a brass bowl and then the family also bought and put in itty bitty diamonds the size of grains of sand. They put the diamonds into the brass bowl with the bones and then shut it and put it on their counter in their house with a picture of their son next to it. Then we had a lesson and then the parents left later so we then bought and ate bi sike with the daughters and the grandma which before we ate we also flipped water bottles for 30 minutes and the Grandma joined too! My record was 13 haha. When Elder Hallam and I came back to their house after buying the bi sike we found the youngest daughter crying on the bed. It breaks my heart cause both of them try to be so strong for their parents and those around them but I know they're hurting so much inside. PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM! After that we ate and then they have a pull up bar so I did some pull ups with the little girl on my back and then hung upside down which was fun and made them giggle and laugh so we decided our work there was done and it was time for us to leave, even though they didn't want us to.

Then I had to print and fill out baptismal forms for David's mom, who that morning said she had an argument with her husband about tithing and said she wouldn't be getting baptized and didn't want to see us again. But then later said everything was fine and she wanted to get baptized, lol. Anyways, I just saw this was super long so imma skip forward and not tell y'all about my two crashes on my bike, lol.

SUNDAY

Super crazy and super busy, but so refreshing! We sat with the little girls and they are so precious. They make me want to be a better man so I can fit in with their sweet wholesome spirits. I watch Pu Cnang keep a close eye on the rowdy boy up front, which broke my heart cause I know he's thinking "My little boy is not here anymore, so take good care of him while you got him, parents." Just thinking about that now makes me tear up. This gospel is so true though and I have many more miracles but also I don't think many people are gonna get half way through this email haha. So, I'll save them for another time.

Family and Friends, I know this Church is true and that God loves us individually. Serve others first and God will take care of you.

Listen to Elder Uchtdorf's talk "Happiness Your Heritage" from the October 2008 General Conference

I love all of you abundantly, keep on striving to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Love Elder Acton

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